New Wave of Nerd

An explanation about why I haven’t been updating:

See you all very soon!

Tranny Maintenance: testosterone injections, weight lifting, shave neck beard, moisturize face, eat enough for an army, maintain self-control over urge to hump everything.

HAPPY PRIDE, YA BIG QUEERMO!
I hope this week is so gay that on Saturday at the end of the parade we stumble upon a group of unicorns vomiting rainbows.

It is Pride week! I am lucky enough to have been interviewed for the StarPhoenix again this year. Hopefully this time my face isn’t placed underneath a picture of a bird drowning in oil. I’m thinking this article will bring in some new viewers, so I figured I would created a ‘Coles Notes’ post of my blog. I think it has been around long enough to have a greatest hit album.. don’t think I am retiring though. I am going to be like Cher and have 5 retiring tours.

I started this blog years ago to document my life and the changes I was going through. I had found blogs and videos on the internet from trans people that really helped me figure things our, so I wanted to return the favour.

I guess I’ll summarize myself just so you have a feel of who I am. I’ll give some of those interview answers where you spin bad things about yourself into a good thing. For example, I work really hard and have high expectations. This really means, I am a perfectionist.
Okay, but for real -- I am a 21 year old FTM transgendered person. I identify as Trans, outside the gender binary of guy or girl. I am going into my 3rd year of university where I am doing an honours degree in Sociology as my pre-law program. I plan on going into human rights law with a focus on Queer issues. I started my transition when I was 18, began taking testosterone when I was 20 and here I am.

This is a summary of all the videos I made during my first year of hormones. I even included some cute baby pics. I wish I still had that troll sweater.

First up we have my ‘ Reasons to Date a Trans Person’. Informative, and humorous .

I am really happy that I was asked to be interviewed again. As you see in the blog a lot has changed in the year since my first article, and I was excited to have a chance to update where I am now in my life.

Please, scroll down. Read more of the blog!

P.S. For those of you who follow the blog, I am going to Winnipeg next weekend! You know what that means! This year the party theme is biker. I finally just got the glitter out of my hair from last year’s David Bowie party, and now I am going to do it all over again! So excited!

How to Make Love to a Trans Person -- Gabe Moses

Forget the images you’ve learned to attach
To words like cock and clit,
Chest and breasts.
Break those words open
Like a paramedic cracking ribs
To pump blood through a failing heart.
Push your hands inside.
Get them messy.
Scratch new definitions on the bones.

Get rid of the old words altogether.
Make up new words.
Call it a click or a ditto.
Call it the sound he makes
When you brush your hand against it through his jeans,
When you can hear his heart knocking on the back of his teeth
And every cell in his body is breathing.
Make the arch of her back a language
Name the hollows of each of her vertebrae
When they catch pools of sweat
Like rainwater in a row of paper cups
Align your teeth with this alphabet of her spine
So every word is weighted with the salt of her.

When you peel layers of clothing from his skin
Do not act as though you are changing dressings on a trauma patient
Even though it’s highly likely that you are.
Do not ask if she’s “had the surgery.”
Do not tell him that the needlepoint bruises on his thighs look like they hurt
If you are being offered a body
That has already been laid upon an altar of surgical steel
A sacrifice to whatever gods govern bodies
That come with some assembly required
Whatever you do,
Do not say that the carefully sculpted landscape
Bordered by rocky ridges of scar tissue
Looks almost natural.

If she offers you breastbone
Aching to carve soft fruit from its branches
Though there may be more tissue in the lining of her bra
Than the flesh that rises to meet it, Let her ripen in your hands.
Imagine if she’d lost those swells to cancer,
Diabetes,
A car accident instead of an accident of genetics
Would you think of her as less a woman then?
Then think of her as no less one now.

If he offers you a thumb-sized sprout of muscle
Reaching toward you when you kiss him
Like it wants to go deep enough inside you
To scratch his name on the bottom of your heart
Hold it as if it can-
In your hand, in your mouth
Inside the nest of your pelvic bones.
Though his skin may hardly do more than brush yours,
You will feel him deeper than you think.

Realize that bodies are only a fraction of who we are
They’re just oddly-shaped vessels for hearts
And honestly, they can barely contain us
We strain at their seams with every breath we take
We are all pulse and sweat,
Tissue and nerve ending
We are programmed to grope and fumble until we get it right.
Bodies have been learning each other forever.
It’s what bodies do.
They are grab bags of parts
And half the fun is figuring out
All the different ways we can fit them together;
All the different uses for hipbones and hands,
Tongues and teeth;
All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.
But we could never forget how to use our hearts
Even if we tried.
That’s the important part.
Don’t worry about the bodies.
They’ve got this.

Gabe Moses is “a poet, author, performance artist, dogwalker, and accomplished floor-sock-glider who does most of his best writing in the bathtub. You can find his work in lots of cool places, but that kid singing James Brown on YouTube is not him.”

Just amazing. I wish I had seen this poem before; it would have saved me a lot of heart ache and cruddy sexual situations that are perfectly captured by this, ” When you peel layers of clothing from his skin / Do not act as though you are changing dressings on a trauma patients ”

A breathtaking poem by Gabe Moses:

How to Make Love to a Trans Person

Forget the images you’ve learned to attach
To words like cock and clit,
Chest and breasts.
Break those words open
Like a paramedic cracking ribs
To pump blood through a failing heart.
Push your hands inside.
Get them messy.
Scratch new definitions on the bones.

Get rid of the old words altogether.
Make up new words.
Call it a click or a ditto.
Call it the sound he makes
When you brush your hand against it through his jeans,
When you can hear his heart knocking on the back of his teeth
And every cell in his body is breathing.
Make the arch of her back a language
Name the hollows of each of her vertebrae
When they catch pools of sweat
Like rainwater in a row of paper cups
Align your teeth with this alphabet of her spine
So every word is weighted with the salt of her.

When you peel layers of clothing from his skin
Do not act as though you are changing dressings on a trauma patient
Even though it’s highly likely that you are.
Do not ask if she’s “had the surgery.”
Do not tell him that the needlepoint bruises on his thighs look like they hurt
If you are being offered a body
That has already been laid upon an altar of surgical steel
A sacrifice to whatever gods govern bodies
That come with some assembly required
Whatever you do,
Do not say that the carefully sculpted landscape
Bordered by rocky ridges of scar tissue
Looks almost natural.

If she offers you breastbone
Aching to carve soft fruit from its branches
Though there may be more tissue in the lining of her bra
Than the flesh that rises to meet it, Let her ripen in your hands.
Imagine if she’d lost those swells to cancer,
Diabetes,
A car accident instead of an accident of genetics
Would you think of her as less a woman then?
Then think of her as no less one now.

If he offers you a thumb-sized sprout of muscle
Reaching toward you when you kiss him
Like it wants to go deep enough inside you
To scratch his name on the bottom of your heart
Hold it as if it can-
In your hand, in your mouth
Inside the nest of your pelvic bones.
Though his skin may hardly do more than brush yours,
You will feel him deeper than you think.

Realize that bodies are only a fraction of who we are
They’re just oddly-shaped vessels for hearts
And honestly, they can barely contain us
We strain at their seams with every breath we take
We are all pulse and sweat,
Tissue and nerve ending
We are programmed to grope and fumble until we get it right.
Bodies have been learning each other forever.
It’s what bodies do.
They are grab bags of parts
And half the fun is figuring out
All the different ways we can fit them together;
All the different uses for hipbones and hands,
Tongues and teeth;
All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.
But we could never forget how to use our hearts
Even if we tried.
That’s the important part.
Don’t worry about the bodies.
They’ve got this.

Gabe Moses is “a poet, author, performance artist, dogwalker, and accomplished floor-sock-glider who does most of his best writing in the bathtub. You can find his work in lots of cool places, but that kid singing James Brown on YouTube is not him.”

Cite: http://coilhouse.net/2011/03/how-to-make-love-to-a-trans-person/

1 Year anniversary video!

A collections of video clips from the last year to summarize my transition to date. Includes embarrassing childhood pictures too!

If you’ve never watched one of my videos before, this is the one to watch! Watch me change from Pre-Testosterone to 1 year on Testosterone in minutes.

Thank you so much for reading my blog.

Cheers to the next year of adventures with NewWaveNerd!

- Love,

Avery Eros Finley

Hopefully you have all been being good little activists and are in the know about Bill C-389. This is the bill that is fighting to include gender identity and gender expression into the Canadian Human Charter of Rights. This bill has passed two votes, and is going to the third vote. If it passes that third vote it goes to the Senate where it will be voted on by the Governor General.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves yet. The bill needs to pass the third vote, which is set to happen on December 7th. So far the bill has passed without any problems or much opposition. This has created many counter movements to flare up from groups who look to protect the “normalcy of society.”

We need our voices to be heard. It is simple to do too. All you need to do is sign this petition supporting the bill. Your support will be sent to your M.P., who is supposed to represent the people in their riding. See? Easy. Here is the link, it only takes a minute or two - Support Bill C-389

Note that I said ’supposed to represent the people in their riding’, my M.P. is not supporting the bill. See the exchange I had with him below.

Sent: November 17, 2010 12:11 PM
To: Vellacott, Maurice – M.P.
Subject: Support Bill C-389: legal protection for transexual and transgendered Canadians

I am writing to you as a constituent to ask that you support Bill C-389, when it comes up for Third Reading in December 2010 and that you ask your caucus to do the same.

Bill C-389 amends the Canadian Human Rights Act to prohibit discrimination against transsexual and transgender Canadians and changes the Criminal Code to make violence against transsexual and transgendered people a hate crime.

Trans people are often victims of discrimination, harassment and violence. They are all too often denied employment, housing, access to health care and face difficulties obtaining identification.

Trans people are workers, citizens and beloved members of our families. They deserve respect, equality and protection from discrimination and violence.

I look forward to a personal response to my request.

Yours truly,

Signed by:
Avery ____
Saskatoon, SK

As a young, 21 year old, female to male transexual I am told by Canada that I am not ‘person’ enough to be deserving of basic protection and rights. Intolerance and discriminatory laws affect me on a daily basis because of my gender identity and expression.

I am put in danger every time I am asked to show identification because it still retains the gender marker F(emale), when I am male in appearance.
I can be denied the education I need to reach my goal of being a Human Rights Lawyer without a reason other than the fact that I am transgendered.
I have been spit on, yelled at, and pushed because I am transgendered. I do not stand alone; a community of transgendered people stand beside me, the majority of whom have experienced hate and discrimination as well. But we stand without the protection of our country, without the recognition of the validity of our identities, and without the respect and equality we deserve.

Please, support Bill C-389. Do not make us stand alone any longer against the injustices happening in our beautiful country of Canada.

Respectfully Yours,
Avery E. F. ___

November 22, 2010 – Response from M.P. :
I will not be supporting Bill C-389.

Regards,
Maurice Vellacott

November 23, 2010 – My Response:
As your constituent you have a certain amount of accountability that you owe me. Could you explain why you will not be supporting Bill C-389?

I am still waiting for an explanation as to why he will not be supporting the bill. I bet it will read something like this:

RED ALERT: ‘Scary’ Canadian Transgender Anti-Discrimination Bill Sails Thru Committee

Here is a little bit from it, “According to Alissa Golob, head of Campaign Life Coalition Youth, the move to recognize gender-confusion as a normal lifestyle choice is ‘not surprising” since we‟ve already done so with homosexuality. “It‟s just another attempt to normalize immorality,” she said. “What‟s next? Polygamy? Pedophilia?’”

That article was taken off his official website, ‘RED ALERT’ and all. I can’t believe this man is a part of the Canadian goverment. His utter lack of compassion and respect for humanity is disgusting. I wonder if he will actually stand behind his beliefs and call me “immoral” and a “pedophile” in writing personally to me. Or if he will just hide behind the words of others and let them speak for him.

Please, do your part. The petition literally takes 2 minutes to fill out, you just have to fill in your name and your postal code. This bill goes to vote on December 7th, so you only have a little bit of time left to write your M.P. and let them know you support the bill.

I will keep you updated on this situation. This is our time to act, we can make a difference, make your voice heard.

- Avery Eros Finley

I have hit my first wall in my transition. It looks as though I won’t be allowed to change my gender markers from female to male on my IDs. This makes traveling outside the country a safety issue for me. It also makes already awkward ID checks at the liquor store even more awkward.

Picture this:
Setting -- 3pm on a Thursday afternoon, almost empty liquor board store.
Avery wanders the isles with a lazy saunter that exclaims having nothing but free time. Dressed in a cardigan, buttons done up, and a pair of slacks. I look well kept, even fashionable. But what no one can see are the long johns, saggy wool socks and baggy flannel shirt hidden under the appropriate casual day clothes I put on as a mask.
First, I wander over to the red wine section. It is classy, acceptable even to buy a bottle of wine on a weekday afternoon. It could easily be for a dinner party tonight.
Then over to the cider section, skip over the 2L plastic bottles of cider. Psh, please -- I have some class and digni- “OH! Sale on king size cans! I wonder if they have coupons…”
Final stop, over to my main man. The man who steers me through the tough times, who is never without a guiding hand -- Captain Morgan. I missed you. You feel so right in my hands. I miss your warmth. I can’t resist anymore, take me home!
Check-out counter --
Clerk -- “Wow, you must be having a party!”
Avery -- *Tucking the collar of his plaid shirt back under the cardigan.*
“Hmm? Oh, yeah… party.  Of course, you know, the usual just a few good friends getting together for a good time.”
That wasn’t a lie. I am going to watch Superman. Lois Lane and Clark Kent are friends.. that counts as a party. Right?
Clerk -- “I hope you remember the Egg Nog for all that rum! It is that time of year.”
Egg Nog? Barf. Why would I go and ruin perfectly good rum by adding that crap to it? If that makes me the fucking Grinch then point me in the direction of a little village to pillage.
Avery -- “You bet. Egg Nog. Yum, Yum.” *Small fist pump*
Clerk -- *Looking skeptical, glancing from pile of alcohol to the corner of my flannel shirt and long johns sticking out*
“Can I see some ID sir?”
Mayday! Mayday!
Avery -- “Absolutely.” *Pulls out ID and hands it over*
Clerk -- “That is a unique name. Eros? Hmm. Do you have another piece of ID?”
Ah shit, about to get even more awkward. Why do I look like a 15 year old boy?! I shouldn’t have shaved my neck beard it adds at least 2 years to my age.
*Hands over health card that contains a clear F underneath the name*
Clerk -- “Eros, again. Okay thanks, Mr. Ziege-”
*sees the F, falters in speech, jerks head up, mouth gaping*
“I mean, Ms. Zieger… Or.. Mister.. I -- uh -- Your total is…”
End Scene

Okay, maybe that won’t ever happen. Not the part about me wandering a liquor store on a weekday afternoon, that could happen. I am one failed final away from that being my life. The clerk asking for a second piece of ID is pretty far fetched. I may look 15 and have a weird name, but it hasn’t caused me to be asked for a second piece of ID yet. So yes, I am letting my imagination run away with me but it could happen.

Anyways, here is the video.

Sorry about the gap between when I recorded this video and when I am posting it. I am kinda like that crappy watch you wear everyday even though it only works half the time. Maybe out of habit or because it is cute you keep it around. You have grown to be very fond of it. It makes you happier than it should when it does the job it is supposed to do, but even when it doesn’t you can’t be too mad at it.
Yup, that is me. An unreliable watch that is too cute to throw away.

My 1 year anniversary on T is coming up very quickly and I really want to put together a special video for you guys. I hope I can get it together in time. I’ll try my best. If I can’t get that special video together in time I will put up a regular video no matter what.

Thank you guys so much for checking in.

- Avery Eros Finley