Happy New Decade Champs!
Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I’m not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don’t get in a fight.
No more staying up til 3am, no more sleeping in til noon, showering is no longer the biggest accomplishment of my day – classes are back on. All my classes are six credits, so they carry over to this term. This is a good thing and a bad thing. I know what to expect from them, but I am getting bored and frustrated with a couple of them. Especially my English class, it is through St. Thomas Moore. I haven’t had a problem with any other classes I have through that college, but this Prof relates EVERYTHING back to Jesus. EVERYTHING! Writings that aren’t related to the bible in any way become a story about temptation with the devil, or Adam and Eve.
No! Sorry, I am pretty sure the poem is about a girl who gave it up to some guy, and he didn’t call her back.
Besides that I am glad to be back at classes. I feel productive, and the rest of my life falls into place once I have a schedule.
So much is coming together in my life, it is rejuvenating! I feel like I have got a second wind, and am ready to make changes in my life. Maybe change is too strong a word, I think commitment better fits. I am ready to make commitments in my life. I want to challenge myself, because that is the only way I will grow. Recently I have begun to feel that familiar itch of not challenging myself enough. The last time I felt this feeling I registered for university last minute. For the last month I have been thinking about what I can do to make that feeling go away, and I figured out the path to the growth I need. I am not making drastic changes, only recommitting my focus to areas of my life that I have already changed.
I am not drinking anymore. I know I only started drinking six months ago, but I have had all the experiences that I wanted from it. I had really fun nights, adventures that I remember and laugh about. I let myself act my age, and I experienced nights everyone should have. I had my drunken make outs, and the professing of truths sponsored by liquid courage. I don’t have any attachment to drinking, so this will be easy enough. There is one small acception to this though, I have a really wonderful bottle of champagne that is part of a plan set in place a long time ago. It is part of Juliet’s Christmas present, if we ever hang out again and I get to give it to her I am allowing myself to drink from it.
I am going to work out regularly, and expand the activities I do. At this point I work out from home with some equipment I have, but I want to do more. I want to work hard to get the most from all the changes testosterone is creating in my body. If I am putting on muscle this quickly just with testosterone think of how much I can put on with working out regularly. Really think about it for a second, I am flexing for you right now. I want the sight of my biceps to cause small children to cry! If you need a work out buddy let me know! You can introduce me to a new way of working out. I am going to start going to yoga again, which is connected to another commitment I am making.
I am going to meditate more often. I have practiced meditating for the last few years of my life with various amounts of commitment to it. It has always been a solid pillar that keeps me strong and focussed. I make better choices, and keep in touch with myself when I practice it. I pay more attention to what I say, what I think and how I act. I am just an overall better person when I do it.
I have had ‘Goodbye My Lover’ by James Blunt stuck in my head for the last couple days, it needs to stop. I keep serenading random objects every time I put them down. It was funny for me the first dozen times it happened, but now I can’t even put my tooth brush back in its holder without it popping into my head. The only solution is for someone to serenade ME. I think that would be enough closure.
Random fact about Avery – Back in the day (a few years ago) I learned how to play ‘Goodbye My Lover’ on the guitar, so I could woo the ladies. Mad skills! This was after learning how to play ‘Hero’ by Enrique Iglesias, and having that fail miserably at getting me make outs.
Speaking of failing miserably with girls, Juliet is not really talking to me anymore. Awesome. It really sucks because she was my favorite person to have adventures with. Things that wouldn’t be an adventure with anyone else were an adventure with her. She was the person I confided in most, about serious stuff and about random things. I guess I can to take this as a lesson that things are not permanent and change forms. It is just hard to have someone become a pillar in your life, and then leave.
An old friend recently came back into my life, and it feels like it is going to be something important. We met in grade nine, back when we were far from our prime. I was a terrified awkward kid my first day of high school, and she was the very first person to smile at me in the halls. We had a couple classes together. To me she was this beautiful girl who never ceased to captivate my attention. She had a very adventurous life, with this crazy hippy family. I remember one time for class we walked over to her house and brought back her pet ducks for show and tell. She had been home schooled her whole life, and was SO smart. She used to get so frustrated over all the silly things they taught us. She didn’t come back after grade nine. Since then she has always popped into my thoughts.
Thanks to the power of Facebook we got back into touch with each other. Over the holidays she came back to Saskatoon, and we met up for coffee. Normally I hate running into people I went to high school with, it is always awkward. I didn’t have a ton of friends in high school and I have changed a lot since then, so it is always weird to catch up. But coffee with her wasn’t like that at all, it didn’t feel like we hadn’t seen each other in six years. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of familiarity, it just felt right. Talking with her was easy, we joked around and were open with each other.
Right now she lives in Montreal, but she is thinking about moving back to Saskatoon. I really hope she does. Usually I wouldn’t give a codename to someone I knew years ago and met up for coffee once, but this feels different. I have been thinking about this name for a while now, I like to find names that fit the person perfectly. I have though of one that fits her pretty well. There is one other name that fits better, but the time is not right to use it. So for now she is Wild Flower, because she exudes an enchanting energy of beauty and freedom. Carried on the breath of the wind there is no place in the world that she can’t bloom, wherever she chooses to grow she adds beauty to it. Like a wild flower growing on the border of the forrest and on the side of a highway. Signaling the end of paths laid out for us, and marking the start of freedom. Hopefully this isn’t cheesy, I have that tendency.
I have more BIG news to do with my transition. Make sure to watch my next video I will announce what it is. I am very excited, and nervous about it. The video should be up on Monday or Tuesday.
Til then, HELLO WEEKEND! I loveded you Weekend, I loveded you. That is an Invader Zim reference. Google it, and prepare yourself for the cuteness that is Gir. There are a few fictional creatures that I wish for as pets – Gir, a closet hippo, an Ewok, and a pocket monkey. I promise I would walk them every day, and feed them, and love them, and clean up after them. Please!
Anyway, this weekend I am partying with my boys, and going for brunch! A meal that has become a staple in my life after a night of crazy antics.
- With all the love in my Superhero heart,
Eros