New Wave of Nerd

An explanation about why I haven’t been updating:

See you all very soon!

HAPPY PRIDE, YA BIG QUEERMO!
I hope this week is so gay that on Saturday at the end of the parade we stumble upon a group of unicorns vomiting rainbows.

It is Pride week! I am lucky enough to have been interviewed for the StarPhoenix again this year. Hopefully this time my face isn’t placed underneath a picture of a bird drowning in oil. I’m thinking this article will bring in some new viewers, so I figured I would created a ‘Coles Notes’ post of my blog. I think it has been around long enough to have a greatest hit album.. don’t think I am retiring though. I am going to be like Cher and have 5 retiring tours.

I started this blog years ago to document my life and the changes I was going through. I had found blogs and videos on the internet from trans people that really helped me figure things our, so I wanted to return the favour.

I guess I’ll summarize myself just so you have a feel of who I am. I’ll give some of those interview answers where you spin bad things about yourself into a good thing. For example, I work really hard and have high expectations. This really means, I am a perfectionist.
Okay, but for real -- I am a 21 year old FTM transgendered person. I identify as Trans, outside the gender binary of guy or girl. I am going into my 3rd year of university where I am doing an honours degree in Sociology as my pre-law program. I plan on going into human rights law with a focus on Queer issues. I started my transition when I was 18, began taking testosterone when I was 20 and here I am.

This is a summary of all the videos I made during my first year of hormones. I even included some cute baby pics. I wish I still had that troll sweater.

First up we have my ‘ Reasons to Date a Trans Person’. Informative, and humorous .

I am really happy that I was asked to be interviewed again. As you see in the blog a lot has changed in the year since my first article, and I was excited to have a chance to update where I am now in my life.

Please, scroll down. Read more of the blog!

P.S. For those of you who follow the blog, I am going to Winnipeg next weekend! You know what that means! This year the party theme is biker. I finally just got the glitter out of my hair from last year’s David Bowie party, and now I am going to do it all over again! So excited!

How to Make Love to a Trans Person -- Gabe Moses

Forget the images you’ve learned to attach
To words like cock and clit,
Chest and breasts.
Break those words open
Like a paramedic cracking ribs
To pump blood through a failing heart.
Push your hands inside.
Get them messy.
Scratch new definitions on the bones.

Get rid of the old words altogether.
Make up new words.
Call it a click or a ditto.
Call it the sound he makes
When you brush your hand against it through his jeans,
When you can hear his heart knocking on the back of his teeth
And every cell in his body is breathing.
Make the arch of her back a language
Name the hollows of each of her vertebrae
When they catch pools of sweat
Like rainwater in a row of paper cups
Align your teeth with this alphabet of her spine
So every word is weighted with the salt of her.

When you peel layers of clothing from his skin
Do not act as though you are changing dressings on a trauma patient
Even though it’s highly likely that you are.
Do not ask if she’s “had the surgery.”
Do not tell him that the needlepoint bruises on his thighs look like they hurt
If you are being offered a body
That has already been laid upon an altar of surgical steel
A sacrifice to whatever gods govern bodies
That come with some assembly required
Whatever you do,
Do not say that the carefully sculpted landscape
Bordered by rocky ridges of scar tissue
Looks almost natural.

If she offers you breastbone
Aching to carve soft fruit from its branches
Though there may be more tissue in the lining of her bra
Than the flesh that rises to meet it, Let her ripen in your hands.
Imagine if she’d lost those swells to cancer,
Diabetes,
A car accident instead of an accident of genetics
Would you think of her as less a woman then?
Then think of her as no less one now.

If he offers you a thumb-sized sprout of muscle
Reaching toward you when you kiss him
Like it wants to go deep enough inside you
To scratch his name on the bottom of your heart
Hold it as if it can-
In your hand, in your mouth
Inside the nest of your pelvic bones.
Though his skin may hardly do more than brush yours,
You will feel him deeper than you think.

Realize that bodies are only a fraction of who we are
They’re just oddly-shaped vessels for hearts
And honestly, they can barely contain us
We strain at their seams with every breath we take
We are all pulse and sweat,
Tissue and nerve ending
We are programmed to grope and fumble until we get it right.
Bodies have been learning each other forever.
It’s what bodies do.
They are grab bags of parts
And half the fun is figuring out
All the different ways we can fit them together;
All the different uses for hipbones and hands,
Tongues and teeth;
All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.
But we could never forget how to use our hearts
Even if we tried.
That’s the important part.
Don’t worry about the bodies.
They’ve got this.

Gabe Moses is “a poet, author, performance artist, dogwalker, and accomplished floor-sock-glider who does most of his best writing in the bathtub. You can find his work in lots of cool places, but that kid singing James Brown on YouTube is not him.”

1 Year anniversary video!

A collections of video clips from the last year to summarize my transition to date. Includes embarrassing childhood pictures too!

If you’ve never watched one of my videos before, this is the one to watch! Watch me change from Pre-Testosterone to 1 year on Testosterone in minutes.

Thank you so much for reading my blog.

Cheers to the next year of adventures with NewWaveNerd!

- Love,

Avery Eros Finley

Hey Champ!

Can you guess where I am? If you guessed in the library you are correct. The school year has started which means I forever have my nose in a book. This update is a ‘Thank you’ to the lovely people that contributed to taking away my social life and riding me of the burden of a full night sleep.

I was awarded the Regal Social Regina Bursary, which is a monetary bursary toward my university education. It was given to me by the Imperial and Sovereign Court of the Governing Body – Golden Wheat Sheaf Empire. That can be confusing, basically the Drag Queens of Saskatchewan helped a poor tranny out haha.
Drag Queens and their long titles and names, who does that? I mean is it really necessary to have two middle names…oh, wait.. Carry on, Sisters. Carry on!

I made the video a couple weeks ago, but I am just getting it up now. I am trying to organize my life before I actually take my nose out of a book and have fun.
It is my birthday this weekend, and I am going to Winnipeg to celebrate! It also happens to coincide with lesbian night at their gay bar. This is a combination that pretty much guarantees ridiculous adventures. And I am hoping some birthday kisses.
I am staying with Pocket for the couple nights I am there. There may or may not be some major spooning under her Toy Story blanket. I think kittens are born from that extreme level of cuteness.
I am not going to get too crazy though, I actually have Saturday afternoon booked off to study. I know, who studies on their birthday weekend while in a city full of babes? This kid.

Stay tuned for the details of my birthday adventures! If the saying about how you spend your birthday is how you are going to spend the rest of the year is true, then my year is going to be one hell of a sweaty, sexy lesbian packed dance party. Here’s to hoping it is true!

Hey, Girl/Gurrrl/Boy/Boi/Ze/None of the above, Hey!

I missed you. I missed you the way I miss Facebook when I am away from a computer for a couple days. What? No one said I always had to be deep and poetic about my feelings. Oh, who am I kidding? I am a sentimental sap. I missed you the way the air feels empty in the silence after thunder’s roar.

I promise I made the most of my time since my last written update. I am going to put up TWO videos! TWO! One on the physical changes since my last video, and another on the social aspect of my transition.

I’ve got lots to catch you up on, starting with another road trip. I went to Edmonton, Alberta to see the leading lady in my life. Yes, that is right, there is a leading Lady in my life. I may have mentioned her a once or twice (an update).

I went to see LADY GAGA in concert!!!

The trip was completely last minute and was made possible by my beautiful friends. We drove up Friday, the day of the concert, and made it just in time. I got really into it and even put a costume together. I went as Phantom of the Opera with a GAGA twist. I stretched my craft skills to make the disco ball mask.

Judging by a reaction I got from a cute blonde girl my costume was a complete success. She blushed so hard she got hives. Ha! It was really adorable.

The concert was AMAZING! So good! She sang live which I really appreciate, especially considering how many dates there are to this tour. She was SO inspirational. At one point in the concert she gave a speech that made me want to quit school and do everything in my power to make this blog and my activism better known. Once I calmed down from my GAGA induced high I realized that the way I am going to give my activism a bigger impact is by finishing my schooling and becoming a Human Rights Lawyer like I plan.

My favorite part of the concert was when it was just her and her flaming piano (flaming as in on fire, not flaming as in gay. All her dancers covered the second definition of flaming.). She sang my favorite GAGA song, ‘Speechless’.

Also, the short artsy films between songs while she was doing costume changes. One in particular stands out in my mind; in the video she spoke a short insight about her fans that was very poetic. This is just a little bit of it, “They are the Kings. They are the Queens. They write the history of the kingdom, while I am something of a devoted Jester.”

After the concert we went to a gay bar called Buddy’s. It. Was. Gross. It was so packed we could barely move. The lay out was terrible! I couldn’t even make my way to one side of the bar. The DJ was awful, like really terrible. He played a Taylor Swift song. How am I supposed to get my sexy dance moves on to Taylor Swift? Every Taylor Swift song is like a Nicholas Sparks novel in 2 minutes. Had ‘A Walk to Remember’ been made now it would have been packed full of Taylor Swift songs, not Mandy Moore songs. It is those small blessing in life that I am most thankful.

The next day of the trip was more of a success. We spent the day shopping and wandering Whyte Ave, which is the gay/hip part of town. That night we went to a brand new gay bar called Flash; it was much more of a success than Buddy’s.

Edmonton is not the only city with a new gay bar. My very own hometown just opened up its second gay bar, 302. I know I am biased, but 302 is even better than Flash in a few key areas. One being design, 302 is gorgeous. It is laid out really well, it is easy to move around and find people in the bar. They have a few great DJs, so we won’t get sick of hearing just one DJ over and over. The best part of 302 are the events they throw. They are bringing in big name Drag Queens, which is new to Saskatoon. Also, they are having circuit parties quite often. Before we would only have big parties for Pride and holidays.

302 is having an Underwear party this weekend! I have only been to one underwear party before, and it was back when I was a youngin’. I am a little nervous about how people are going to react to me just in gitchies. I am not going to wear a packer. I really don’t feel the need to wear a packer and have a bulge. I love having the body I have now. I don’t plan on getting bottom surgery. I am okay showing off what I have or, in their minds, what I don’t have. Plus, I have a really amazing collection of underwear so I will have something fun to wear.

My partying is going to come to a stand still right away because school starts back up next week. It is time to say goodbye to Summer Party Avery (accessories include: a cool crisp Cider and manprees), and welcome back caffeine overloaded studious Avery (now comes with pocket watch and coffee stained cardigan as accessories).

I honestly am so excited to start university again. I miss the library. I miss the babes on campus. I miss the ache in my shoulder from carrying all my books. I am nerd through and through.

Thanks for reading! Two videos are coming your way!

Oh! I am not leaving you guys hanging on the topic of babes; there just isn’t any news in that area. Sad, I know. Hopefully, my cardigans and loafers will sweep a smart babe off her feet in the library. Stay tuned!

- Your Dreamboat,

Avery Eros Finley

Hey Lovely,

I hope your beautiful soul is doing well today. I am back with a T video update, and I really think you will enjoy it. In the video I list the top reasons to date an FTM. It is packed full of wit, charm, and crudeness -- Oh, and of course, a Lady Gaga reference.

Sorry about the quality I had to use the camera on my phone because I don’t have a camera anymore.

P.S. I  enjoy long walks along the river, poetry, and holding hands. Aww <3

Your Dreamboat,

Avery

Hello Lovely!

I am back with another summer adventure under my belt. I visited the River Avenue girls and Pocket in Winnipeg again!

I was origninally going to follow my tradition of camping at the Ness Creek music festival; drinking enough red wine that the mosquitos who bite me get drunk. But this summer here in Saskatchewan we have had a ridicuilous amount of rain. So I predicted that what would normally be a weekend full of sunshine and hippies, would turn out to be full of thunderstorms and dirty hippies… dirtier than normal hippies. I didn’t want to be sopping wet and stuck inside my tent all weekend, so I sold my ticket and went to Winnipeg instead.

I stayed with Voodoo while I was in Winnipeg, which I am extremely thankful for. She is even more of a babe than I remembered from my last trip, it wasn’t just the glitter and David Bowie atmosphere playing tricks on me. We have been texting a lot since my last trip, so we basically had a crash course in the ‘Get to Know You’ game and I feel like I know her better than friends I have had for much longer periods of time.

I started my drive at the ass crack of dawn (Yup. I did just say that, savour the moment.) on Thursday, and made it into the city in time to meet my favorite little lesbian, Pocket, for supper.

Pocket is still as cute as ever. I think the best description of Pocket was said by Voodoo, it was something along the lines of: “I want you to live in my pocket and yell your life story to me from inside it.” If she was an animal she would be the House Hippo or the Pocket Monkey, she is that adorable. She is coming home to Saskatoon in a couple of weeks, so stay tuned for more fun adventures starring Pocket.

Thursday night I went to the Sandbox magazine fashion show party with Voodoo and her friends. Everyone was so well dressed! I was in people watching heaven, there were so many bow ties and sexy dresses. The model mentioned in the last post walked in the show… Actually she was around for most of the weekend; she is a staple in the River Ave group. Every group needs a smart unattainable straight girl to fawn over. Unattainable straight girls are to lesbians as desperate straight fag hags are to gay boys; the balance of the queer world relies on their presence.

I spent Friday afternoon with Voodoo, and I say afternoon because we slept till noon. That may seem like a long time but it only amounted to a few hours sleep, by the time we went to bed I had been up for over 24 hours. This was also the day that I experienced my new most embarrassing moment. Way more embarrassing than the time I failed a swim test in front of my grade 12 classmates, and was then asked to wear a life jacket and remain close to the edge of the pool for the rest of the swim. You know that scene from the movie Garden State, the one were Andrew jumps into the pool and flails around while everyone watches. Yeah, that was me.

Anyway, I won’t go into details because that will only extend the amount of therapy I need to recover from this incident. Lets just say that missing two meals, being awake for over 24 hours and consuming more beer than I normally do the night before mixed with caffeine, standing for an extended period of time in a very steamy shower was too much for this frail vegetarian.

The rest of Friday was pretty calm and relaxing. Voodoo flexed her amazing cooking muscles and made a delicious supper for a few friends. After eating we watched movies, and called it a night. This trip had a lot more good wholesome fun than the last trip did.

Saturday was the most eventful day.  We had a few drinks at one of the girl’s house, then we went to a little pub but hung out in the parking lot for most of our time there. From the pub we moved on to Gio’s, the gay bar, we danced until they closed. A big group of us went back to Voodoo’s place to crash, but first we watched Spice World. It broke my heart a little, the Spice Girls are not as good looking as my childhood lesbian memories lead me to believe. They look so old and haggard in that movie. After Spice World we all crashed for two or three hours than got up and went for a Falaphal breakfast. Hummus needs to be part of my morning ritual more often.

After breakfast Pocket and I spent the day at the beach. It was a lot of fun, and good quality bonding. However, there was a lot of back hair, bad parenting, and what looked like the cast of Jersey Shore. Seriously, it was like being at Wal-Mart. We saw parents let their kids pour lighter fluid all over a fire and their hot dogs.

After the beach the group reassembled for a camp fire. See, I said there was lots more good wholesome fun on this trip. We even made smores!

Voodoo and I spent Monday morning cuddling and watching the food network. None of you realize how much of an accomplishment that small feat is. Apparently Voodoo hates cuddling the way Lindsay Lohan hates driving sober. I was honestly expecting Voodoo to stop talking to me before the hickey on my hip had even faded away. I wouldn’t have been surprised, and I would probably have only felt a small twinge of hurt. She normally sneaks away after the person falls asleep, so waking up 4 days with her still next to me was an accomplishment haha.

I don’t have any experience with these kinds of situations, so I am not sure what the proper protocal is. I have watched a lot of friends deal with these situations, so I have a general idea of how it works. I think a good rule of thumb is to continue talking to the person until the underwear you took off of them has been washed. I feel like the scent of ‘Spring Rain’ laundry detergent really solidifies a happy memory of that hook up, and leaves it feeling like a blossoming tulip covered in dew. The fresh scent encourages a clean new start. Also, those Tide to Go pens really get that deep down dreaded stain of feeling like a slut off one’s soul. They should put that in the commercial.

I am not like my friends though, I want to continue talking to her. She is a really sweet girl, and I want to continue being friends with her. I know I haven’t even cracked the surface with her, she has a decent sized wall and moat surrounding herself. I hope that she will let someone break through one day, or at least give someone the chance to fight the alligators in the moat and scale the wall.

I am not a hook up kinda person, but my last relationship left me feeling really insecure about my body and I needed to prove to myself that I am not an unlovable frankenstein monster. We both knew going in what it was and what it wasn’t. I feel like I know her well enough that it wasn’t some random I picked up from the bar. Voodoo was exactly what I needed.

There is no one I want to date right now, and I won’t lower my standards just to find someone. I love being single, I keep myself happy. I am really busy with work and friends right now, and I am only going to get busier when school starts so the only way a relationship would possible is if the person is secure and independent. I can’t deal with someone who needs constant reassurance or for me to put them back together. I am a whole person I don’t need a person to complete me, I want someone to compliment and challenge me.

I managed to piss off at least one person while on my trips; the girlfriend of my new completely innocent and hopeless crush. I haven’t had a school boy crush in a while, the infinity of impossibility is a nice reminder of not taking anything too seriously. I have missed having scenes from 80’s movies roll through my head. *cue the music – “Oh I, I just died in your arm tonight, it must have been something you said. Yeah, I just died in your arms tonight.”

I thought I was subtle with my crushing, but apparently her girlfriend noticed me failing to get up the courage to buy the Babe a drink. Or maybe the pep talks that I was giving myself about going to talk to the Babe showed on my face. They were damn good pep talks, they didn’t work, but they were good. They rival the Coach’s inspirational half time speech to the underdog team in any good sport’s movie.

That sums up my trip! Stay tuned for T-Videos, I have two in the works. One is that summary video of my transition to date, and the other is going to be a video about that top ten reasons to date a tranny haha.

Love and Peace <3

Avery Eros Finley

‘Allo!

Hang on a sec! … Okay … Yup, still there. I just had to check that my liver didn’t pick up and leave me after what I put it through over the last two weeks.

Go ahead and check that yours is still there I will wait … We all good? Good.

Have any of you stumbled through the door fully expecting to find your close family and friends sitting in the living room waiting to give you an intervention? If I walk into the house covered in glittered after disappearing for 4 days one more time I fully expect that to happen. After the third time I would worry if I was my family too.

Pride was a complete success. I hit up a lot of the events during the week, and they were all really well organized; I am not even going to talk about it, because a even week’s worth of Pride events cannot compare to the weekend I just had.

The adventures are coming faster than a 15 year old boy losing his virginity (SNAP!). I took a road trip to Winnipeg, Manitoba to visit some friends. Never before have I partied with people who party so well. I am in complete awe of their skills. More than a few managed to drag their asses to work after only an hour or two of pass out power naps.

… I am getting ahead of myself I will back up and explain a bit:

At the moment I am in a coffee shop in Saskatoon STILL wearing green spandex pants (my NLP who is proof reading this approves) and a pair of sunglasses inside because I am STILL hung over from Saturday. I am copying this entry out of a notebook I scribbled in while driving home from Winnipeg blaring dance tunes, because apparently I didn’t get enough of them this weekend. Or maybe I got so much that I needed to ease myself off the beats so as to not go into withdraw.

I was in Winnipeg to visit a couple friends who live there. They were kind enough to let me crash on their couch, introduce me to their friends, and show me around the city. THANK YOU! I was in Winnipeg from Thursday through to Sunday, but I am only going to talk about Saturday night and Sunday morning. If I talked about all the days this entry would go on forever; I spent the majority of Saturday night with my friend who will be called Pocket Lesbian. She is actually from Saskatoon, and moved out to Winnipeg last year. We go way back, I was one of her THREE prom dates when she graduated high school. Yeah, she is that good.

You won’t fully be able to understand why this weekend was so epic without knowing the crowd I was with. So here, watch this video -

This is who I came to visit and party with. They party so well and are packed so full of drama that they are in the running to be turned into a MTV reality show.

Go LIKE their Facebook group RIVER AVENUE, if you want to see more of them.

Obviously these girls know how to party, and that is exactly what happened on Saturday. I’ll sum up the the night:

“You remind me of the babe.”
“What babe?”
“The babe with the power!”
“What power?”
“The power of voodoo!”
“Who do?”
“You do!”
“Do what?”
“Remind me of the babe.”

Explanation? What does David Bowie have to do with anything? I went to a David Bowie themed party. No, I wasn’t wearing a codpiece…. Though, I did consider it. I was wearing green spandex pants, a tee with glitter letters, gold converse, a black & white stripe blazer and I had glitter on half of my head.

Never before have I seen so much glitter, spandex and lightning bolts. I bet it looked similar to the birth of Lady Gaga.  It was a birthday party held on the roof of a vegan restaurant, and the party provided exactly what it was supposed to: dancing, drama, and David Bowie.

Time flew by at the party. Everyone was there, including a top runway model who hangs out with the group. An actual model, not a, ‘Once I modelled for a Sears catalogue. I wore a floral print muu muu. It was totally semi fitted though, so it was sexy. That was such a tough shoot, the frilly mid calf helm made it look like I had cankles’ kind of model. I’m sure this model has actually had her face tickled by the air coming off Karl Lagerfeld’s hand fan. At one point she was runway walking down the middle of the street WHILE hula hooping in shiny short shorts that go beyond the normal category of ’short shorts’. Once the blood started flowing back to my brain the only thing I could think to properly capture how tiny these shorts were was, “I see London, I see Paris…”

I went to Winnipeg assuming that everyone would already have a bit of an idea as to who I was, because I am such a big deal. Do you know who I am?! Kidding! I just thought Pocket Lesbian would have given a quick run down to her friends, but a lot of people just thought I was some random gay guy… Sigh. That was an extra bump in the road to make outs. So I started slipping lines like “Oh yeah, when I was a lesbian…”, “When I was a little girl…”, or “I am a Tranny, and I like girls”  into conversation. You know, subtle hints like that.

Pocket Lesbian deserves a trophy, she was a wicked wing man. She introduced me to a girl that I will call Voodoo. I pick the name Voodoo because it fits with the David Bowie theme. Not because she pointed a bone and cast some spells, though she was very enchanting. However, thinking back she did have a bunch of random guys hooting at her like they had a bone to point because of her. Ha ha.

Voodoo knew who I was and had read the blog before. As you all know I am awkward as hell, and this stayed true while I was in Winnipeg. Luckily I had my good friend Beer to help me get up the courage to talk to Voodoo giving myself a chance to be awkwardly charming.

She is very witty and quick, which you know I love. I had a fantastic time flirting with her. She jokingly asked if she was going to make it onto the blog. I said she would have to do something in order to make the blog and that she knew how awkward I was with first moves, so she should make it. That bit of flirting made all the time it takes to keep this blog going worth it.

She made the first move!

We were dancing, and she suggested we go outside and cool off. Once we were outside she asked if I wanted to go for a walk. Then yeah, happy make out time. Except for the people who were walking between bars and kept hooting at us, or complimenting my green pants.

That tender moment did not last nearly long enough. It was interrupted by a text from the friend I was supposed to be staying with. Apparently she was tired, and wanted to leave right then. Cock block! It was only 1:30ish and I didn’t want to leave yet. Luckily I didn’t have to because Pocket Lesbian said I could crash at her place.

When the party ended around 2:30am Pocket Lesbian and I wandered over to Gio’s, the gay bar, and stayed there for less than thirty minutes. We adventured back to her place where the after party was happening. What I walked in on was the thing of ANY sexual being dreams. I don’t care if you are a man, woman, tranny, none of the above, all of the above, gay, straight, bi… Two lesbians in glitter and spandex wresting is a very good thing. No words. Just amazing.

I really hope I am not coming across like one of those asshole straight guys who will approach two girls and tell them to make out, then ask if they want to go home with them.

Side note -- Having spent the majority of my sexual life as a Lesbian I have had the pleasure of meeting many of those guys, so I feel like I can speak for all the girls who have ever been in that situation: “Fuck off. You are nasty and you can’t get one straight girl. What makes you think two Queer girls would want you? Your penis is not a gift from God, nor is it the missing piece from our lives. Get the fuck away if you plan on keeping it for later when you jerk off alone in your Mom’s basement.” - End of side note.

We hung out on River Ave at Pocket Lesbians’s place for a while, then a group of us decided to go get breakfast. Yes, it was now late enough (early enough?) to get breakfast at a restaurant. Champions. We had a ridiculously fun time at breakfast, then we went back to Pocket Lesbian’s place because it was about 7:30am. I was still really wired though. I think my brain just didn’t know what to do anymore. It has been overstimulated with all the hot girls in glittery tights. I seriously laid on the couch with my eyes open not really registering that I was seeing anything. I believe this is called a ‘Disco Nap’.

Eventually I fell asleep. Well, kind of, I kept waking up to the others in the house dragging their tired, hung over asses out the door to work. Seriously, these girls know how to party. There is absolutely no way in hell that I could have worked after partying like we did. I could barely consentrate on driving home Sunday I was so tired and hung over.

LONGEST WALK OF SHAME EVER!

10 hours! It spanned two provinces. I had glitter on half of my head, I was still wearing my spandex pants, sparkle shirt and circus ring leader blazer. I hadn’t showered, and I smelled like the inside of a boot. I was running on two hours sleep, and two cups of coffee. The only thing that kept me going was the high of how awesome this weekend was.
I have rings under my eyes bigger than Rihanna does after she folds Chris’ tighty whities wrong and he loses it. OOOOOH. Yeah, I am still making Chris Brown jokes. Shut up, they are golden and I like to remind people about what an ass he is.

Anyway, best walk of shame in my history. I want a reward, like a trophy with a button that turns on a recording of all the whispers I got along with the pointing and general looks of disappoval while stopped at gas stations.  Apparently Bowie wear is not appropriate for a Sunday afternoon? Whatever, they were all just jealous. They miss their youth and crazy adventures. I would hate myself too if I was stuck in a mini van full of screaming kids on my way to Sunday mass with a wife that wants to divorce me, but can’t because the priest would frown. Ouuuu! Too far? Too much?

Best weekend of the summer by far, way better than all of Pride week combined. The idea of moving out there has definitely taken firm root in my brain. Winnipeg has more than just phenomenal parties to offer. The Queer community seems really great, Osborne village is exactly the kind of place I love to hang out and rent is cheaper than it is in Saskatoon. I could just transfer to the University out there. I am already registered for another year of classes at UofS, but I will roll the idea around in my head for next year.

I am going to leave you with more Bowie!

“For my will is as strong as yours and my kingdom as great. You have no power over me.”

P.S. Go LIKE the River Avenue girls!

- Avery Eros Finley

Yar! Welcome back, Matey!

I have been getting a lot of feedback recently on the typed updates I did when I first started this blog, so I have decided to bring those back along side my T videos. Also, I just bought a new MacBook and I am in the honeymoon phase with it. I just want to be on it all the time!
I will have plenty of material to write about this summer, it is going to be ridiculous! Summer is going to be packed full of crazy adventures that I probably shouldn’t admit to doing on the internet.
Really though, it is mostly just good wholesome fun. No one gets hurt, in fact we may rediscover our naked faith in humanity. The only thing to take a hit is my tender little heart whenever a summer crush burns out. Whoa, I basically just summed up Pride Week and Ness Creek for you. Wait, add more making out. There, now you are have Pride Week and Ness Creek. Oh boy!

Along with stories about Ness Creek and Pride I will subject you to my hippy ramblings, random rants and stories about whatever other beauty I stumble across. Expect more code names to be created, they are for everyones well being.

The adventures have already started off at a nice steady pace. As I promised at the end of my Work and Transition T-Video I made the most of my 3 days off work, though not in the way I expected. If you live in Saskatoon and haven’t already heard the news I am very surprised, you may be the last person in the city who doesn’t know. Wow, does word travel fast.
I broke up with my girlfriend at the end of the month :( Yeah. Boo. I never mentioned us on the blog, except briefly in one video, because we started dating during my break from updating the blog. Truthfully, she was a large part of the reason I didn’t update the blog. We were busy flying kites, having picnics and being cute.
I guess I will sum the whole thing up, beginning to end. She and I started dating about 3 months ago. She knew I was Trans when she met me through a friend, and she was okay with it. Things started off really well, we communicated openly and we were damn cute. It was really nice to be with someone that wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with them. There were no back and forth games. She is brilliant, funny, witty, and beautiful. She has such a kind heart and so much strength. I just wish she would have faith and trust in herself, and those qualities, the way I do.

We started having some problems about a month back. We talked about them  and made a few adjustments in hopes that things would get better. That didn’t really happen, instead the adjustments just created different problems. Some of our problems were related to me bring Trans, but not all of them. It is not the reason we broke up. She has things she needs to work on, and I have things I need to work on. I have been single for so long that it is what I am good at. I had a hard time being patient and making room for someone in my life.
I discovered that I like falling in love more than being in love… which brings a whole new meaning to the title ‘Hopeless Romantic’ that I have so proudly wore as badge, like my heart on my sleeve.
There is no bad guy in this break up, we just couldn’t find a balance together.
I have never had to break up with someone before. Usually they cheat on me, or things weren’t official and the relationship just fizzles out. I discovered breaking up with someone sucks just as much as being broken up with. I felt like I killed a puppy, and then extinguished a rainbow.

I spent the rest of my 3 days off work acting in response to the break up. I drank more than I usually do, partied with friends, and played video games to distracted me. Then when I was ready to face it I had a good cry. Now I am dealing with it in a more positive way. Make outs! Wait, no… that is for saved for Pride. What I meant to say was, Yoga!
I spent the money left over in my bank account after buying this beautiful Mac (I wonder how many time I have to say “beautiful Mac” before Apple will sponsor me. Maybe I need to say a bit more… nothing feels quite as right as the smooth tender caress of the perfectly shaped buttons of a Mac across my finger tips) on an unlimited pass to a yoga studio. I plan on going to yoga at least three times a week.
Being in a relationship and focusing energy on making that work distracted me from being in touch with myself. Yoga class will help me focus again. And it will get my hippy juices flowing, so expect lots of hippy ramblings. Plus, I plan on perfecting my hippy vegetarian yogi body. Lean, muscular, flexible with just a hint of that underfed to fed to save the planet look.

Pride Week is here! Can you feel it? Smell it in the air? Hear it? You can! That tingle deep down inside your gut, the crisp fresh air, and the distance “thumpa thumpa” is Pride! I am so excited! Ah! As part of my training/preparation for the week I have only been listening to Lady Gaga and dance music. I have developed an eye twitch, but it is in time with the music so I am okay with it.

I plan on doing something special for Pride Week on the blog. I am going to do a number of typed updates throughout the week about the events I attend.
My 6 month testosterone anniversary happens during Pride week! I love you, Testosterone! You are my one and only! In honour of it I am going to do a special compilation video of the last six months. I think it will be really interesting to see the huge changes I have experienced these last six months summed up in a few minutes.
I go for my 6 month check up with my Endocrinologist sometime this month, which means I had to get a ton of blood work done. I got it taken already, before Pride starts, because now that Pride has started my liver has been working really hard and I don’t want the Doctor to mistake Pride Week for testosterone negatively effecting my liver.

Okay! You all know what to expect from me in the next week! Here is what I expect from you (Yes, I have requirements):
1) Have a fun and SAFE Pride! If (When, lets be real) you are drinking, you are not driving. If (When, again, lets be real) you are playing, you are playing safe.
2) Remember to celebrate yourself and the community, that is what this week is about!
3) BE PROUD! Do it for yourself, for your friends, and for that little homo that has never seen two happy Queers celebrating their love openly.

- Avery Eros Finley